The nine year old wanted to go for a training hike with me. I was delighted to share my hobby and we set out bright and early.

Oh the wicked arc of a day hike with a child.

I planned to do a long solo hike. The trail destination was four hours away. Two hours into the car trip I got hungry. I pulled off at a rest stop when I felt something go. Suddenly my car would not accelerate. Or move.

About a year and a half ago I was going through a challenging time. My process for coping is to pick something physically extreme to train for and pour my energy into achieving it.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”

Lovely sentiment. Hallmark gets a lot of mileage out of it. However it’s full of crap.

The word from the locals near Devil’s Path...

“You are crazy to do this now. It’s too cold and you must beware of the porcupines who are out in full force. And the pheasants and quails are attacking.”

I awoke at 4am and lay in bed acknowledging this was probably the last time I would be warm and cozy for 48 hours. I willed myself to get a few more minutes of sleep but the mom guilt kicked in.

I have waited for a lot of sunrises. Usually because of the breathtaking view. It is 4am on what has been the longest night of my human existence. After summiting two mountains I parked for the night halfway up the third.

Five mountains in 30 hours. Devil’s Path I have a few words for you. First there is no path. No winding whimsical trail around multiple mountainsides.

This was the amazing jetted tub that was my celebration for completing my wicked adventure. But now I find myself asking "So now what?"

I had the perfect evening planned for my kids. That idea is never a set-up for failure, tears and loud cursing.

It was Saturday morning and I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a blanket with a cup of coffee. The ten and eleven year old still had virtual school work to finish.

It was Sunday at midnight and I was sound asleep in my bed. Something startled me awake. I looked in the doorway and there was a six foot one inch dark shadow filling the frame. I shrieked.

I am worried about you. There is no way of sugarcoating it. This year the holidays are going to be drastically different and in many cases, lonely and isolating. This is insensitively on the heels of a year that delivered much of the same.

Mornings are always a bit chaotic getting four children up, dressed, fed and out the door for school.

The ten year old was off skateboarding with a friend when I circled the block in my van to locate him. I found him sitting on the street corner with a cute girl. After saying goodbye he jumped into the car. I tried to remain nonchalant.

When I started to shift my life into one where I began to explore who I really was at my core, I made a rule to say yes.

I remember a day during an especially dark time in my journey where everything seemed so out of control and overwhelming that it was impossible to breathe.